27

I am almost 27 years old and I feel way more of a hot mess than I thought I would at this age. When I was younger, I thought that by now I would be an adult. Instead I just feel a whole heap of a trainwreck. Turns out that I grew up to be a moody thirteen year old girl.

One thing that strikes me is how certain themes and thought patterns linger for years at a time. When I look at who I was when I was seventeen, I am painfully aware of how naive and inexperienced I was. However, I feel like certain aspects of angst and longing are still there. The last ten years have been chalk full of mind-blowing experiences that have increased the depth of who I am. But when the same themes hang around, I can't help but wonder if that is simply who I am? Circumstances between where I was then and now are drastically different, but what hasn't changed drastically is me, which is a sad thing.

I have changed. A lot. When I think about all the ways I have developed as a person in the last ten years, it astounds me that I survived it. However, when I look at the core issues swirling around in my brain, I am still that kid Grant... just in a 27 year old body.

Maybe we never really grow up, maybe we just grow into adult problems. We are always still just a kid trying to navigate our ways in a grown-up world.