Lanette Teases

I have a nineteen year old sister named Lanette who is ridiculous and hilarious and I love that kid. One of the things about our relationship is that I tease her mercilessly and she loves it. According to her, I got my teasing nature from Grandma Winnie, which is quite possibly true. I have her convinced right now that our brother-in-law Kevin and I plan our teases and have a whole spreadsheet of planned teases.

Some of my favorite teases are:

- Little House on the Prairie. Lanette adores those books and has read every single one of them. So what do I do? I constantly tell her that Laura Ingles left the prairie after the last book and now lives in L.A. and has a reality show with the Kardashians. "Kim and Laura Retake Walnut Creek". Or the other great tease is talking about what a nice girl Nelly is. That gets her all riled up. "Really Grant? Really?!" she rants.

- Falling down the stairs. Whenever I am around her and the staircase, I make a very dramatic fake-tumble down the stairs. Complete with screaming and crying. "Mom! Lanette pushed me down the stairs!" Oh buddy, does she get crazy about that. Now she won't even go near stairs when I am near her.

- Anne of Green Gables. Here's how it goes: I start with a comment on how Anne was totally an enabler for that filthy drunk Diana. And then I move onto how Merilla was the town hussie and shows up in Laura Ingles' "Khloe and Laura Take Miami" reality TV show....Merilla wandering around in a two piece bathing suit that leaves little to the imagination.

- Throw around the idea that we are becoming Jewish and thus, giving up Christmas. This year we had a Hannukah dinner which really aided my argument to Lanette that she shouldn't expect anything on Christmas morning, because after all, we're Jewish now. We don't celebrate Christmas anymore.

- Two Words: Liza Hair. When this girls gets up in the morning she is the spitting image of Liza Minnelli.

- I also have her convinced that if she puts her hand on my head and I put my hand on hers, we are "melding minds" and I can see into her brain. (Which is pretty easy: Babies, tsunamis, Laura Ingles, her friend Nona, babies.)  She is extremely frustrated that she can't read my brain when we do that.

I love this kiddo. Yeah, she is slighty ridiculous and really gullible...but she is such a good sport to put up with my antics. And it was especially tender when she called Kevin one day to get ideas of how she could tease me back. She spent the rest of the afternoon proclaiming Sasquatch wasn't real and listening to me rant about how untrue that was. Good tease Lanette, good tease.