10 Gay Confessions

1. I enjoy having painted toe nails. I am not too much of a feminine gay dude, but I am a sucker for nail polish. Usually on my fingers I just use some clear nail polish...but the toe nails are a different story. Right now they are silver with glitter. But no one ever really sees my toe nails, so what is the big deal?

2. I hate hair removal. Some gay guys are all about Nair and shaving...and I'm sorry, but I thoroughly enjoy my body hair. Every once in a while I will decide to gay it up and over-manscape; however, I always mourn such choices. I enjoying being hairy, and I enjoy hair on other dudes.

3. I still don't like Glee. Every, and I mean every, gay guy I know swears by the show. It is like gay canon now... yet I still can't bring myself to get into it. I love showtunes as much as the next homosexual, but not Glee.

4. I am unnerved by the idea of gay Republicans. It just doesn't make sense. The thought of it gives my brain an aneurysm.

5. I really do get ready in the morning via lypsinc. It really sets my day on the right tone.

6. One of the most frustrating things in movies/TV shows are when the gay character A) gets used for comic relief, or B) is killed off. Very few media outlets use gay characters any other way.

7. I am not really scared of boobs. There is a theory out there that boobs frighten gay men, and I can say that at least for myself, the fear is exaggerated. I can appreciate shapeliness and symmetry. The southern region is a different story. I think I could pretend to do the straight thing until I get to the idea of coming into close proximity of vajayjay. I am sorry, but no.

8. You would be shocked about the number of girls that ask if I want to hook up with their boyfriends. The reason for this is three-fold. A) The ladies just want to know if they are dating someone appealing. B) They don't realize every gay guy isn't attracted to everything with a penis. And C) I think some of them actually are into seeing gay dudes get it on.

9. I am currently contemplating two different tattoos. Idea #1 is of a bearded lady. Idea #2 is a bear claw...in honor of my love of beefy, hairy men...probably tramp stamped on my lower back. I am somewhat leaning to the first because I think it would be hilarious and I have yet to regret any of my tattoos so why not have one somewhat regrettable?

10. I have a great annoyance with the gay man trend to want to look like a pre-pubescent fourteen year old boy. It doesn't make sense to me. Why would I want to look like that? Why should you want to look like that when you are a forty year old gay man? It's the flow of life dude. You can't Benjamin Button yourself into being a twink.