Here's my expectations on how my life insurance money shou
ld be spent for my memorial service:- Okay, everyone is gathered for the funeral. In walks Cher on top of an elephant, scantily clad, and the opening song of the funeral services is "Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves".
- Every pause during the service Madonna will be there repeating the phrase "Sticky and sweet" like she does in her song "Candy Shop". And I mean every time there is a pause. Someone is saying how much they will miss me and they pause to wipe a tear. STICKY AND SWEET. Someone chokes amidst their sorrowful words. STICKY AND SWEET.
- Liza, or at least a drag queen resembling Liza Minelli, will bring it home by singing "Single Ladies" as it is performed on the "Sex and the City 2".
- Go-go dancers in the aisles.
- Lady Gaga will perform the final musical number. I would like her to sing "So Happy I Could Die". Perferably in an outfit that would be odd, even for her. Like Kermit-the-Frog-dress weird.
- Pizza should be served at any kind of afterward luncheon. Funeral potatoes are meant for Sunday dinner. Not an event of this magnitude.
So this is all just an FYI...but it is a big FYI, so make it happen folks.
4 comments:
Your wishes have been noted. Now I hope you are leaving plenty of money for me to hire Cher, Madonna and Liza Minnelli...then again, they are all a lot older than you so if you kick the bucket within the next 20 years, they shouldn't mind being hired out of their old people homes.
Ummm, why didn't you mention the song I am going to sing at your funeral? Hmmm? :)
I simply assumed everyone knew you would be giving one. You are obviously my first choice. Madonna is just a back up.
Oh Grant, you never cease to make me giggle. I lost it on the go go dancers....couldn't stop laughing. Love ya.
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