Last week when Facebook changed about how everything was set up, the "People You May Know" seemed to get a whole lot more accurate. Rarely did that thing ever help me find a long lost friend. However, tonight I peeked onto it and holy hannah, heaps and heaps of people. From high school from college from places I lived years ago. It was weird. And I took the Facebook stalking bait and I started checking on people's profiles for who is married, who has kids, who lost their hair, etc.
But about ten minutes in I had to stop myself. First of all, I was tempted to add some of these folks as Facebook friends. When in reality, the past is probably better left in the past. I don't want to be one of those people that perpetually relives their senior year of high school or their college days or whatever. Second, the deeply shallow part of me was hoping for some pretty judgmental comparisons. I was looking for bald guys. Wrinkles. Who got fat. Who is still in college ten years after high school. Who married someone who is legitimately fugly. Why? Because I feel self-conscious about those things and I wanted to make myself feel better. I worry that people pull up my profile hoping to see the same things. Plus, the few profiles I checked...I'm the fugly one so...yeah.
Finally, I am okay with where I am at today... at least I am okay with it in this present moment. I am not going to lie - I wonder a lot about what old friends and classmates and coworkers think of me when they Facebook stalk my profile. Grant is gay? Grant is trying to look like Moses with that beard? Grant is just managing a restaurant...nothing else? But in the end, I really want to be happy with me, right now, who I am. And the comparison game isn't going to help that.
So Facebook, my old friend, you aren't ensnaring me this time...
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