Flies and My Deep Thoughts

"Do what we can, the summer will have its flies."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think one of the lessons of this summer is that sometimes, life sucks ass. Deep, I know.

One of the things I beat myself up about is I think at different times of my life I did things to screw my possibly perfect world up. "I was so much happier then" and "Why couldn't have just been content as I was?" are the thoughts that filter through my brain. I will get my thinking stuck into a rut where I attack myself for what was just me doing what I thought made sense at the time. I was just living and trying to do the best I could with the situations that evolved.

The truth of the matter is that sometimes things suck. Life is never perfect and it is tempting to tell yourself what better life-choices might have been when looking retrospectively. A fitting analogy for me are the seasons. In spring I will be anxious for summer, thinking about frolicking through the fields and picking daisies. And then I get into the thick of summer and mosquitoes are everywhere and it is hot and I think how much I wish I could go back to when it was cool and bug-free outside. Eventually summer ends, and in the frigid cold of a Wisconsin winter, I will be wishing for the "care-free days of summer". The lesson I need to learn is just to enjoy life now. Yes, there are a lot of mosquitoes outside. But that is summer. Deal with it Grant. And speaking to the larger story of my life: Yes, I may have acted hastily or carelessly in situations past, but that's life. Regret won't fix anything.

Do what I can, I am going to make poor decisions and sometimes life won't be the epitome of perfection. But the truth is that in never was before, and right now isn't all that bad either.