Now seriously straight friends, how often have you been asked that? Probably not too often. But as a gay dude, the topic of what kind of gay I am comes up a lot. Right now my group of friends here in Wisconsin is trying to decide the answer to my supposed lack of gayness because I keep giving them the finger when the topic comes up.
Apparently I act too straight. Well, obviously I'm gay. But they find my lack of flamboyancy disconcerting. I guess I should be trying to be more like Zac Efron. They word they used was more like "queen"-ish.
I will need to obtain the following to do so:
- A flat iron. I will ask to borrow one of Ryan Seacrest's. And apparently highlights for my hair.
- More pink shirts. Right now I just have one that I wear to unnerve the people at church. And they should be collar-pop-able.
- A more dedicated attitude about shaving. Apparently gay people don't have facial hair unless they are full-on bears. Plus, to be like my gay cohorts I would also be required to shave my legs and chest. Not happening.
- Desire to watch "Glee". Also, not happening. Showtunes do nothing for me.
- Lisp, or at least a gayer vocabulary. I tend to only say "fierce" if I am specifically talking about Tyra Banks.
- No desire to eat.
Crap, I am apparently not a very good gay. The problem is that I don't really fit in anywhere else in gay world. Not that gay world exists in Marshfield, Wisconsin, but you get what I'm saying...
1 comment:
1. Why would a gay person want a "straightener" anywhere near their head?
2. I might own more pink than you. Yikes.
3. Yeah, right. I've seen your hairless chest.
4. True, but sports on T.V. are still like Kryptonite to you.
5. Ummm...I blame Will and Grace for that one.
6. Given up your Hasidic ways, have you?
But you're right, I've never been asked that question. Probably because I am interested in sports, have killed animals, eat lots of red meat, and rarely cry in public. (Movie theaters don't count...it's dark in there.)
Prejudice sucks, man.
To what degree does that question bother you? A funny annoyance, or something that boils your blood?
I think that on the surface it's kind of funny. But deeper down, it represents how social expectations can hold people back.
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