I Feel Like Hitting the Road

I have lived in the same town in Wisconsin, off and on, for four years now. Four years. I feel a need to break free. I have this amazing ability to take something that is perfectly fine, and to smash it into a thousand pieces. It's not that I hate this town; in fact, the familiarity has grown on me. However, the story of my life has been of things falling apart, me inching my way into a new situation, and then me screwing things up again. And I worry about that happening again, all in the same moment of wanting to do the breaking.

I feel like a road trip. Just busting loose, getting in my car, and taking off... not knowing where I was going, but being okay with the pause in reality. I worry sometimes I am one of those people that need something to be wrong. I need to be falling apart in order to feel alive. Is that me? I don't know. I have spent so much time falling apart and rebuilding that I just don't know how to be plain old Grant anymore.